Friday, September 4, 2015

New Life, New Location

 This boy keeps a smile on our faces!   We couldn't imagine life without this sweetie!  Our lives are complete.

 Manny, celebrating his first Easter with his new Papa Gribner.  So awesome to have this time!
  So we have gotten our boy!!  The adoption is still going thru, but now its Relative placement.  A 2 year process, but he is finally here!!! 
   It is amazing to me that this process seem to drag on, but then BAM, Az calls and says come get him in January, and here we are in September.

I have said it before, I am such a bad blogger.  Life gets so wild for us sometimes.  As all of us seem to go thru phases in our marriages and our daily lives that throw us a curve.

Next post, I will tell you about how we are relocating to another county and how God is blessing us so!! 

Monday, October 20, 2014

Some Fall Decorating

 This basket I pieced together.  I have some old silver Christmas ball ornaments that were my Grandmothers.  I decided to pull the top off of them and push in the orange lights.  I twined the lights around the basket and this is what formed!!! I am happy.

I usually go all out for Fall decorating, but I chose to go minimal this year.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Our Adoption Journey

Photo courtesy of Disney Channel.

Our journey begins with a desire.  I had always wanted boys, all boys.  I always thought I would make an excellent boy mom.  But, God had other plans by entrusting us with 4 daughters.  I wouldn't change a thing.  Though life gets so tough with these 4 at times, I know God gave me these 4 to develop my character as well as me training them.
Still, I would always ask God why He never gave me a boy when He knew that was a great desire.  I never received an answer to this question.  I am always reminded that God IS God and I am not!!!  His ways are not my ways.
  Lets zip forward now from my deep desires and questions towards God to a year and a half ago.  A family member just off-the-cuff mentioned to me in a phone conversation that "Little Man" was taken from his mother.  She had left him unattended for a few days to go on a drug binge.  My heart, as you can imagine sank.  He was just 1 at the time.  His mother, you see, is my cousin. Making Little man my 2nd cousin. As my relative was telling me the circumstances I felt in my heart a leap for joy, I needed to tell hubby all of this right away, but, wait, will he feel the same way, I mean our life is set with the 4 girls, adding a 1 year old boy would be like throwing a monkey wrench into our family.  I mean, here hubby was just talking about how wonderful it was not to call on a babysitter, or just go when ever.  So, I wasn't sure just how hubby would respond.  
I chose to tell him just matter-of-fact way.  And he jumped at the news that if Little Man needed a home, we would be available.  Hubby was more excited than I.  We knew we needed to talk with the girls first, I mean adding Little Man would change their lives as well. All 4 girls loved the idea.  So we prayed on this and I gave family member a call back and asked for them to get us all info needed to get this going.
This same family member came to see us shortly after this phone call took place, they brought with them the info needed.  As they were in communication with the CPS office handling the case.  Family member was elated, very elated that we have chosen to do this.
   Let me say its been a long process.  The first CPS agent was not at all friendly nor easy to work with, she only took two of my calls in the 9 months she was on the case.  The second, and last call with this agent left us discouraged, to say the least.  It was just before Christmas 2013, I called to find out where we were in the process, Agent told me she had no info for me and if I wanted to know anything, I needed to talk to Little Mans' mama, and hung up.  
    We had already gathered many things for Little Man, its amazing how God works in these times.  Everything hubby and I had hoped for, for Little Man we got either free or at a very low cost.  I really want his room to be Lightening McQueen, I have always loved Disney's Cars movie.  We located a bed, and bedding that is so adorable.  Hubby and I are both tall, so we talked about how cool it would be to get a stroller that the handles that extend, and guess what, ha, we went to a garage sale where this stroller was new, and it had extended handles.  After explaining to the woman we were adopting she gave, GAVE it to us, because she respected the fact we were doing this.  We have several clothes, shoes, and toys found for Little Man. But after the news from this agent, I just put it all out of sight.
    January 2014 came along, Hubby asked me about Little Man, he wondered if it was even gonna happen.  He wanted to know if we should just donate the stuff we had gathered for Little Man.  I asked him to give me a day to think about it.  The next day, I told him after praying to God, I was not ready to give up nor donate the stuff, I just didn't feel that chapter of our life was finished.
   Now zip to March 2014, I decided to call that same CPS agent that so rudely cut me off and out of Little Mans life.  I got a hold of that agents assistant, of whom I had left countless messages for the agent she assisted.  She went on to explain she recognized my name and info and that she was now the lead on Little Mans case, the old agent was let go.  She thanked me for calling back and proceeded to explain that our interest was a new lead in Little Mans case, that until now, no one else came forward for him.  She got the ball rolling for the Interstate Adoption process, which in our case is called "Relative Placement."  We are still working on this, all back ground checks, financials, finger-printing, etc have taken place and reviewed.  We are currently waiting on the home-study, and we are praying that Little Man is placed in our home before the Winter sets in.

    For the protection of Little Man at this point and family members, I am not revealing those details.  Little Mans' mama is very young and very hot-tempered, I know because she is a direct family member.  Also, for the protection of Little Man it has not been revealed to family directly involved with him and CPS that my family has petitioned for him.  

Friday, September 19, 2014

Life Change

After 15 years of being in the same church, hubby and I have prayed and decided it was time to move on.  Our season was just simply up.  About 2 years ago, I had made contact with a dear woman, a Pastor Wife, through her blog.  Then realizing their church was just a few blocks from our home.  We visited a few times, loving the environment.  Some of the friendliest people ever.  Our teen daughters also connected with some of the teens in that youth group, and liked it. But, a year and a half ago, it wasn't time.  We chose to jump back into our home church, giving it that second chance.  
Several things 
have happened in the last year, leading our family in a different direction, and hubby and I with a different call on us in the ministry.  
  After talking it over, hubby and I were on the same page.  We talked with our girls, they agreed.  But most of all, hubby and I have always wanted to honor God in our decisions, we prayed, and God released us from the current church. 
   We went straight back to the church a few blocks away, plugged back in, and feel a brand new season beginning in our lives.  Like fall, a fresh, crisp air all around us.  We are ready Lord.....

Monday, September 15, 2014

Today is my 43rd Birthday

Me at age 2 (looking at camera) with my Aunt and cousin.
Yes, today is my birthday.  I woke up to a wonderful sunrise and the smell of coffee.  And many greetings on Facebook.

This is actually a thankful post.  I am thankful to God that I am where I am right now in life.  I couldn't ask for a better birthday gift.  You see, I came from a tough and abusive childhood.  But, I am here today shouting the praises of my Savior for bringing me to this place for this time.

I was born in 1971 to a 15 yr old girl, being raised by her was like your older sister raising you.  In many ways she really resented me for "taking her life from her" she was very distant and really couldn't mother me.  This is where God had praying Grandmothers over me and a very dear Aunt who stepped in to mother me.  My dad's mother, Grandma Stella was a believer, I was her first born grandchild.  From what I have been told by her Pastors when I came into their congregation at age 17, she started every morning by praying for my salvation & safety.  I was not allowed in her life once adopted by my step-father.

I now, more than ever am so thankful for her prayers, I am told she was diligent in her prayers and never skipped praying for my salvation.  Thank you Lord for praying Grandmothers.  I received Christ as my Savior at a young age.  And served him since, even in the middle of a very hostile & abusive environment.  God has guided me thru it all!  I love my Savior very much.  He has made my life A Beautiful Mess.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Love & Marriage and GOD

This is me and hubby.  Did I mention we have been married 23 yrs?  Well, we have.  I was reflecting on this when someone asked me how we keep it together.  First, we keep it built on Christ.  We are both strong believers and love our Lord.  Second, we have learned alot along the way.  You know, like not sweating the small stuff, not pushing each others buttons, and walking in respect towards one another at ALL times.

It wasn't easy in the beginning, we didn't have marriage counseling, I was 19, and we both are 1st born children.  He struggles with pride and I struggle with stubbornness.  Now, I can't speak for my hubby in what he feels has made our marriage stronger, but I can speak for my side.

I had to get to a place where I stopped wanting to change him, it became such an obsession for me to show him "the right way to be".  Often times I was so hurt and frustrated at him, and I couldn't understand why he couldn't be the way I wanted him to be.   One day I was crying out to God, pointing the finger at hubby saying to God "if he would just, and if he would just try to"  God said to me "why do you keep pointing at him?"  "The issue is with you"  OUCH!!!!!  Once I realized this, I took the focus off of hubby and dealt with my own heart and my own walk with God.  I began seeing my hubby the way God sees him,  I began listening to him.  Once hubby said to me "Please stop being my Holy Spirit, and let the REAL Holy Spirit speak to me"  OUCH again.  That spoke so loud to me.  Was I really assuming to be the Holy Spirit?  Was I really not trusting God enough to take control and work on hubby?  Yes and Yes!!!  So I let go!  And trust me our marriage is better for it.  Not to say we still hit bumps, but trust me the disagreements are now far and few between.

God took a scary, hurtful, heading-for-a-divorce couple, and turned us into "A Beautiful Mess"

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I am back!!!

WARNING---LONG POST   I have been away from my blog for awhile.  Life has gotten the best of me these last several months.
I watched the movie "Mom's Night Out" and remembered how much I loved blogging as well.     But also, I believe I am ready to share with others this beautiful mess I have been walking thru.  God has taken me by the hand and led me thru it, STILL leading me thru it.  I take it one day at a time, I take deep breathes often, and thank Jesus just about every hour that our family is still here.
I will slowly enter into the happenings of our life the past few years have taken us thru, some of it is just painful too walk thru still and some of it is a "shout it from the roof tops, God is too good not to tell the world" type of stuff.  Regardless, I hope you, the reader, will feel the heart of where it all comes from.  I also really want to share with you, as an older wife and mother the lessons I have learned thus far, in hopes to help you with the battle you will face or are facing daily. 
For so long, I felt alone in this walk, but have made some wonderful friends in this season who have talked and prayed me thru. 

I will also be adding fun stuff from our life, recipes, crafts, scrapbooking, etc.  Life is good, life is wonderful, but most of all my life is His Beautiful Mess!!

This top photo shows the constant MESS of our Hot Rod life, we as a family build them and take them to shows.  This photo, really captures the personalities of my family, 2 oldest daughters connected to their phones, always!! 3rd daughter is always out of the picture on her skateboard or up in a tree, or inventing something and daughter #4 is always so loving and motherly to her sisters and pets.  Hubby is looking for the next greatest "yard d├ęcor" and I am always capturing our life!!